BATON ROUGE – Our pollsters scoured the local mall for the most representative people to ask:

“Freedom, to me, is being able to vote for whoever lies to me better.”

“Freedom means I should be allowed to do anything I want whenever I want.”

“Freedom means that when I go to McDonald’s I can upgrade to a meal and get a large mountain dew with no extra charge.”

“Crushing people into little cubes.”

“Being able to call off sick to work when I really just don’t feel like coming in.”

“Freedom to me is probably about having the ability to live where I want and work where I want. It allows me to be the best possible version of myself.”

“Hey did that guy say they wanted to crush people into cubes?”

“Freedom to me is being able to go out to walmart and get a new gun and groceries all in one trip.”

“Understanding that the world around you is relative, suffering and pleasure are nothing more than a construct built to keep us confined to this mortal realm. Freedom is breaking yourself of this bond and ascending to a further plane of existence.”

“Probably taco Tuesdays.”