In another historic building project the White House has commissioned a gladiatorial arena modeled after the Roman Colosseum. The new adaptation will be 20 acres, even larger than the original and will hold up to a million spectators. Talk is circulating that the summer Olympics may be held at the new American Colosseum.

With the return of firing squad executions officials are considering a return of execution by feral beast, allowing those charged to prove their innocence by defeating a rhinoceros in combat using only a sharpened toothbrush. White House insiders are planning on calling the spectacle “Rehabiliation” and foresee other events such as demolition derby to take place in the arena.